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Post by just1362 on Feb 4, 2009 11:41:53 GMT 8
Accounting Terms
Asset = Ari
Fixed Asset = Aring Nakatirik
Liquid Asset = Aring Tumutulo
Written-Off Asset = Aring Pinutol
Cut-off Time = Oras ng Pagputol
Depreciation = Pagkalaspag ng Ari
Fully Depreciated Asset = Aring Laspag na Laspag
Earning Asset = Aring Ganado Pa
Non-Earning Asset = Aring Baldado Na
Owned Asset = Sariling Ari
Other Asset = Ari ng Iba
Miscellaneous Asset = Mga Aring Pinagsama-sama
Erroneous Entry = Mali ang Pagkapasok
Double Entry = Dalawa ang Pinasukan
Multiple Entry = Labas Pasok
Correcting Entry = Itinama ang Pagpasok
Reversing Entry = Baligtad ang Pasok
Tangible Asset = Aring Nasasalat
Dispensed = Nilabasan
Indisposed = Hindi Nilabasan
Frozen Asset = Pinatigas na Ari
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PROPOSED NEW TAXES
As proposed by GMA, sex will now be taxed.
Upon penetration… VAT (Vaginal Access Tax).
If more than 10 mi¬nutes inside… Burial Tax.
Upon Withdrawal… Exit Tax.
Those who don’t have sex life… Idle Asset Tax.
Those who practice withdrawal method of birth control… Withholding Tax.
Entering other than wife… Road Users Tax.
Kung matutuloy ito, sa ‘yo pa lang, mas marami na naman silang kukurakutin!
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Post by silverjaws on Feb 4, 2009 17:13:46 GMT 8
Anak: Tay pag laki ko gusto ko mag drive ng Dank Trak..
Tatay: Ha? Anu sabi mo Dank Trak? Anu yun anak?
Anak: Yung malaking sasakyan po na may sampung gulong..
Tatay: Susme!! Hindi Dank Trak ang tawag dun anak..
Anak: Eh anu po?
Tatay: "Ten Miller"..
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Post by silverjaws on Feb 18, 2009 20:38:02 GMT 8
Q: Pano mo malalaman na may “tangang” pumasok sa loob ng sabungan?
A: Ang dalang panabong ay “itik”.
Q: Pano mo malalaman na may “inutil” sa loob ng sabungan?
A: Pag may pumusta sa itik!
Q: E pano mo malalaman na nasa loob ng sabungan si FG Mike Arroyo?
A: PAG NANALO YUNG ITIK !!
May isang bata pumunta sa heaven at nakita niya si San pedro nagbabantay sa labas ng gate at pinapasok siya at maraming orasan nakadikit sa pader at tinanong ng bata si San Pedro
bata: San pedro bakit po ang daming orasan dito sa Heaven
San pedro: kasi ang orasan na yan ay mga ginagawa ng tao kung may nagawang siyang kasalanan gagalaw iyan
bata: ok (tinignan niya ang isang orasan at hindi ito gumagalaw)
bata: San Pedro bakit hindi ito gumagalaw
San Pedro: dahil Madre iyan
bata: ah ok (tinignan niya ang isang orasan at mabagal itong gumalaw)
bata: San pedro bakit po ito ang bagal gumalaw
san pedro: dahil mabait siya hindi siya gaanong nagkakasala
bata: ah ok teka muna nasaan yung kay ate glo
San Pedro: ah kay Gloria na kay Jesus. Ginagawang Electric Fan
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Post by just1362 on Apr 13, 2009 11:44:17 GMT 8
Tanong: Bakit tinawag na Tiki-Tiki for babies ang multivitamins ng United American?
Sagot: Kasi, ang baby ay galing sa Titi at Kiki… pinaghalo lang para hindi bulgar. Alangan namang United American Titi-Kiki for babies ang itawag nila. Ang sagwa, ‘di ba?
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Bush visited the Phi¬lippines and Erap acted as his translator: Bush: “Lets help one another...” Erap: “Tayo’y magtulungan...” Bush: “...let’s strive together...” Erap: “...tayo’y magsikap...” Bush: “...because in union there is strength.” Erap: “...dahil sa sibuyas may titigas!”
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Post by The Main Man on May 20, 2009 15:07:48 GMT 8
JUAN: Lintik na
sabon to'
ayaw bumula..!!
PEDRO: paano
bubula yan?!
di naman basa yung katawan mo!
JUAN: syempre!
..for dry skin to'!! ungas!!
;D ;D ;D
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Post by silverjaws on May 25, 2009 10:12:26 GMT 8
Isang araw, tinawag ng Nanay nya si Boy, ang batang ngo-ngo.
Nanay: "Boy, magpunta ka sa tindahan ni Aling Petra at bumili ka ng isang latang Pork & Beans."
Boy: "Omo, inay," ang sagot ni Boy.
.....Pagdating ni Boy sa tindahan ay binati niya ang tindera...
Boy: Aning Metra,ngamuta na mo ngayo? (Kamusta na po kayo?)"
Aling Petra: "Mabuti naman," ang sagot ni Petra, "ano ang kailangan mo Boy?"
Boy: "Mangmilan nga mo ng inang lata ng Mo e Meen?" ang tanong ni Boy.
Aling Petra: "Ano kamo, Boy? sabi ni Petra.
Boy: "Isa mong Mo e Meen," ang ulit ni Boy.
Aling Petra: "Paki-ulit nga Boy at hindi kita maintindihan."
Boy: "Mo e Meen, Mo e Meen, nyung nata lata."
Aling Petra: "Hindi talaga kita maintindihan. Mabuti pa kaya ay i-spell mo na lang sa akin."
Boy: "O ninge. Mo e Meen. Netter Mi."
Aling Petra: "Letter 'B'?" Ang tanong ng tindera.
Boy: "Ine! Netter Mi as in Minimines."
Aling Petra: "Ha???"
Boy: "Mi!" (Kinanta ni Boy ang alphabet), "Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee..En, Em, En, O, Mi"
Aling Petra: "Ahhh, P! Letter P!" ang masiglang sagot ni Petra.
Boy: "Oo. Mi! Mo e Meen!"
Aling Petra: "Sige ituloy mo Boy. 'P'..."
Boy: "Ngo!"
Aling Petra: "Ano kamo?"
.....Kumanta ulit si Boy.....
Boy: "Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee... En, Em, En, O"
Aling Petra: "Ahhh, titik O! P-O. Sige ituloy mo pa."
Boy: "Netter Arrng!"
Aling Petra: "Kantahin mo na lang ulit Boy."
Boy: "Ey, Mi, Ni, Ni , E, Em, Nyee... En, Em, En, O, Mi, Ngyu, Arrng."
Aling Petra: "Ahhh! Letter R. Malapit na. 'P-O-R'? Hindi ko pa rin makuha, Boy. Anongletter and susunod?"
Boy: "Ngey."
Aling Petra: "Letter A?"
Boy: "Ini ho," sabay buntung-hininga si Boy. "Ngey! A, Ma, Nga (A-Ba-Ka-Da ang kinanta)! Nga!"
Aling Petra: "Ka! Letter 'K' 'P-O-R-K' Ahhh Pork!!!"
Boy: "Oo. Mo e Meen"
Aling Petra: "Pork and?" Ang tanong ni Petra.
Boy: "Oo!! Mo e Meen!!!"
Aling Petra: "Pork and Meen? Ahhhh!!! Alam ko na!!! Pork and Beans!!!"
Boy: "Oo! Oo!! Mo e Meen!! Mo e Meen!!!!" (ang masayang sigaw ni Boy).
Aling Petra: "Pork and Beans pala ang kailangan mo!!!"
Boy: "Oo. Mo e Meen!"
Aling Petra: "Ay, naku... WALA NA, kauubos pa lang!"
nakakatawa nga to..hehe
Luma na pero nakakamatay sa kakatawa
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Post by silverjaws on May 25, 2009 10:21:35 GMT 8
Thing none knew see marie car Who bought, who bad The hill key none taught see marie car
Fog must done knew see hi then Thin knee tea gas sun Cash sea see marie car Who bought, who bad
In knee love bus knee hi then Dean act money yeah Key knee league see hi then The hill be not tea see yeah Knee love as son see hi then Be thin see marie car!
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Post by just1362 on Jun 22, 2009 11:44:23 GMT 8
Inspiring Quote: "Walang malayong kulangot sa mahabang kuko!!" It signifies determination, creativity and hope. Sana na-inspire ka. Walang maduming kubeta sa taeng palabas na! Wow! A quote that resembles courage, resourcefulness and good decision making. “Work is the greatest thing in this world, so I always save some of it for tomorrow” It signifies thrift. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Tandaan: (1) Hindi lahat ng maganda, may boyfriend. Ang iba sa kanila, may betlog! Promise! (2) Hindi lahat ng maganda, may boyfriend. Ang iba sa kanila, may girlfriend! at… (3) Hindi lahat ng guwapo, may girlfriend. Ang iba sa kanila, may boyfriend!
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Post by just1362 on Jun 25, 2009 7:02:45 GMT 8
The Day the dong asked for a Raise >> >> >>>> > I, the dong, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: >>>> > I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge headfirst into everything I >do. >>>> > I do not get weekends or public holidays off. >>>> > I work in a damp environment. >>>> > I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. >>>> > I work in high temperatures. >>>> > My work exposes me to contagious diseases. >>>> > >> >> Sincerely, >> P. Niss >>>> > >>>> > >>>> > >>>> > The >>>> > Response >>>> > >>>> > Dear dong: >>>> > After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the >administration rejects your request for the following reasons: >>>> > >>>> > You do not work 8 hours straight. >>>> > You fall asleep after brief work periods. >>>> > You do not always follow the orders of the management team. >>>> > You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other >locations. >>>> > You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to >start working. >>>> > You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. >>>> > You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the >correct protective clothing. >>>> > You will retire well before you are 65. >>>> > You are unable to work double shifts. >>>> > You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the >assigned task. >>>> > And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the >workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags. >> >> >> Sincerely, >> V. Gina
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