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Post by silverjaws on Dec 27, 2008 8:40:38 GMT 8
Heto bubuhayin ko ulit anf funny page pero dito na lang sa Urdanetster forums. This time mga Funny Text Messages naman. Share them here!
UTOT
Anak: Itay, ano sa english ang utot? Tay: Wind of change Anak: Eh ang utot na walang tunog? Tay: Edi sound of silence Anak: Ano ang utot na may dalang tae? Tay: Dust in the wind Anak: Eh ang di po sinasadyang utot? Tay: Ahh..yan ang careless whisper
;D
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Post by silverjaws on Dec 27, 2008 8:42:15 GMT 8
MAN: Kung di ako makaligtas sa operasyong ito, ikaw na lang bahala sa mga bata!
WIFE: Tumigil ka nga r'yan kung kailan tatlo na ang anak natin saka ka nagpatule.
====================
GUY: Doc, hina ng tenga ko. Di ko marinig kahit utot ko. DR.: Heto inumin mo ng isang linggo. GUY: Lalakas na ang pandinig ko? DR.: Hindi lalakas na ang utot mo!
======================
Jinggoy: Dad, pang ilang Tirso Cruz na si Tirso Cruz III? Erap: (natawa) trick question ba yan anak? Eh, di pang-lima, kaya nga PIP and tawag sa kanya, di ba?
;D
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Post by silverjaws on Dec 27, 2008 8:43:10 GMT 8
BABALA: Maghanda sa corny joke na ito:
Question: Ano ang tawag sa anak ng mantika?
ANO?!!!!!
Eh di…
BABY OIL!
;D ;D ;D
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Post by silverjaws on Dec 27, 2008 8:46:19 GMT 8
“Thought peace” Sa panahong ito kailangan natin ng ‘thought peace’
“‘thought peace’ is very important in our lives!” sigaw ni Manny Pacquiao sa kanyang speech ng nakaraang Peace Rally. Kasi kung walang ‘thought peace’ paanu ka magtototbras, di ba? ;D ;D ;D
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Post by silverjaws on Dec 27, 2008 8:50:29 GMT 8
Dear Te...
Dear Te!
Dear Te!!!!!
sigaw ni Pacman sa anak nya dahil naglalaro sa putikan.
;D ;D ;D
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Post by just1362 on Jan 3, 2009 15:33:28 GMT 8
THE VOWELS OF SEX ACCORDING TO WOMEN
aahhh – napasukan
eehhh – naliitan
iihhh – nalakihan
oohhh – nasarapan
uuhhh - nilabasan
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Post by silverjaws on Jan 4, 2009 7:28:11 GMT 8
Nice one Just1362! Keep it coming!
Gustong magbagong-buhay ng sakristan na si Felipe sa bagong taon, kaya ikinumpisal niya kay Fr. Damaso ang mga kasalanan niya…
FR. DAMASO: Felipe, hindi pa kita pwedeng patawarin. FELIPE: Ho? Bakit ho, Father? FR. DAMASO: Kasi, may kasalanan ka na hindi mo pa binabanggit. FELIPE: Ano po ‘yun, Father? FR. DAMASO: Ikaw ba ang kumukupit sa perang donasyon sa altar? FELIPE: (nabingi kuno) Ano po, Father? FR. DAMASO: Sabi ko, ikaw ba ang kumukupit sa donasyon sa altar?! FELIPE: Hindi ko talaga marinig, Father! Gusto n’yo, palit tayo ng puwesto.
(At nagpalit sila ng puwesto…)
FR. DAMASO: Sige, magtanong ka. FELIPE: Father, ikaw ba ang nakabuntis kay Dorang Labandera? FR. DAMASO: Ay, totoo nga! Hindi marinig dito!
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Post by silverjaws on Jan 7, 2009 6:10:52 GMT 8
A machine invented to catch thieves was tested.
UK: It caught 50 thieves in 30 minutes.
Spain: It caught 110 thieves in 30 minutes.
Philippines: In 15 minutes,
....the machine was stolen. Hahaha.
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Post by just1362 on Jan 7, 2009 16:13:00 GMT 8
Anak
Mare 1: Naku mare, ang gaganda ng mga anak mo! Mare 2: Talaga, mare! Hay naku kung asawa ko lang ang inasahan ko hindi sana mangyayari yan!
==============================================
Types of couples:
1. Boy Gwapo + Girl Ganda = Nagmamahalan 2. Boy Gwapo + Girl Panget = Pinikot! 3. Boy Panget + Girl Ganda = Tinutukan! 4. Boy Panget + Girl Pangit = Pasensyahan
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Post by silverjaws on Jan 15, 2009 19:41:15 GMT 8
what is vine tea?
vine tea is your soak lee in peep tea when you pa load tar tea...so your vine tea is your soak lee...
;D
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Post by silverjaws on Jan 15, 2009 19:42:02 GMT 8
English Teacher: The prefix "bi" is used to describe things that come in two's like bicycle, bifocal and binary. Can you give an example?
Student: (lunok)... umm...
B@YAG??
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Post by just1362 on Jan 21, 2009 17:36:34 GMT 8
ANAK: Inay, ano po ba yung 10 commandments? NANAY: Iyun yung sampung utos ng Diyos. ANAK: Mas makapangyarihan pa po pala kayo sa Diyos eh! NANAY: Bakit? ANAK: Ang dami niyong utos eh!
========================
Kung totoo ang ' Darwin’s theory of evolution' na ang tao ay nagmula sa unggoy, bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo?
=================================
DORAY: Mare, kulang pa kami ng isang miyembro, baka gusto mong sumali sa paluwagan. PINANG: Hindi pa ako pwede, mare. DORAY: Bakit mare? PINANG: Virgin pa kasi ako.
=============================
A boss confused about his Math asked his secretary: If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off? SECRETARY: Everything sir! Dress, bra, panty!
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Post by silverjaws on Jan 29, 2009 13:44:00 GMT 8
Nanay:Hoy!Bakit buntis ka?
Anak:wala po i2 nay,project po to.tungkol sa life cycle.
nanay:Sino ama nyan!sabihin mo!
Anak:marami po eh...GROUP PROJECT ksi...
*****
Newscaster: Kumusta ang peace and order sa GenSan?
Pacman: Marami ang Fish pero kunti lang ang order.
Newscaster: ngekkkkkkkk
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Post by just1362 on Jan 30, 2009 8:55:51 GMT 8
ONLI IN DA PILIPINS!!
At a Megalink ATM: “OOF LINE” (ha-ha-ha nakita ko 'to!) On a wall in Laloma street, a sign says “HULI IHI, PUTOL TITI”
Nakasulat sa pader: “MARUNONG KA BANG KUMAHOL? ASO LANG ANG UMIIHI DITO!”
Along a highway in Pampanga: “WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE” On a self-service restaurant in Cebu: “PLEASE HELP OUR COMFORT ROOM CLEAN” In a Baguio grocery: “FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE”
On a house beside an auto repair shop: “NO PARKING AND REPAIR HERE”
Signs at PHILCOA: “NO CROSSING PEDESTRIANS WILL BE APPREHENDED”
In Baguio Country Club: “TEMPORARY CLOSE”
In Cubao: “NONE ID NOTHING ENTRY”
On a parking lot: “TAXI AND OUTSIDE CAR NOT ALLOWED”
Office Clinic in Sta. Cruz: “DR. SAKIM A. MORGE. MD”
Along Luneta Boulevard: “BAWAL TUMAE SA BULEVARD”
On Jeepney and Bus signs: “BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF”
On a Flower shop in Rizal Avenue: “WE SELL ARTIFICIAL FRESH FLOWERS”
On a delivery truck: “NOT FOR HERE”
On window of a restaurant in Baguio: “WANTED: BOY WAITRESS” On a street in San Juan: “BAWAL MAGTAPON NG BINALOT NA TAE RITO”
A graffiti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a university: “PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN.” At a men's comfort room, above a urinal: “HAWAK MO ANG KINABUKASAN NG BAYAN”
On a truck: “KUNG NABABASA MO 'TO, PAG-NAUTOT AKO MAAAMOY MO"
At a construction site in Mandaluyong: “BAWAL OMEHI DITO. ANG MAHOLI BOG-BOG” Somewhere along San Andres: “NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS” On a vacant lot near Makati Ave.: “DON'T PARKING” At an eatery in Cebu: “WE HAB SOPDRINK IN CAN AND IN BATOL!”
At a shoe store somewhere in Pangasinan: “WE SELL ROBBER SHOES”
And this is the best of them all!!!
On a building somewhere in the Philippines..... “NOTARY PUBLIC TUMATANGGAP DIN NG LABADA KUNG LINGGO”
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Post by silverjaws on Jan 31, 2009 11:10:58 GMT 8
Sorry kung na-post na ito...
Mag-kumare nag-uusap...
Tekla; Sana 'di ko na isinama sa kabaong ni Kulas 'yung cellphone niya nu'ng inilibing siya.
Petra: bakit?
Tekla: Nag text siya, sabi, "dito na me sunod na u!!"
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